“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…”~Ecclesiastes 3:1

I don’t handle change well.  Yes, I know it’s inevitable and there’s not a blessed thing I can do about it, but it doesn’t change the fact I freak out a little bit every time something happens.  Oddly enough, I’m almost constantly changing things around the house, painting a piece of furniture or switching out fabrics.  I guess that’s just the artsy side, where one day I walk into a room and think ‘why on earth did I think this looked good?’.  The kind of change I’m referring to takes me away from my little comfort zone.

We’re barely three months into the new year and already several things have changed around our home.  Raise your hand if you’ve shed tears painting your child’s room.  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Okay, it’s just me.  Many tears.  I knew the time would come when the mural I lovingly painted in my baby girl’s room would one day be painted over.  The time came last month, and my now almost nine year old definitely had her own ideas of what her room should look like.  Let’s just say we did not share the same vision.  I came to the sobering realization that my baby was old enough to have her own opinions and taste in things, and as long as it was within reason, I should go along with it and keep the process fun for her.  Either she’s going to be an interior designer one day or an interior designer’s pickiest client.

My baby boy moved out of his crib.  For the first time in nine years, there is no crib in our home.  I’m not sure what to make of that.  Because my oldest daughter’s room makeover involved a new bed, her sister inherited hers and they now sleep in their own rooms.  For the longest time, little sister slept on the trundle in big sister’s room.  It wasn’t until the first night after the switch that it hit me what happened.  That season was over.  I may or may not have shed tears while debating upping my anxiety meds, and chocolate may or may not have been consumed.

I’ve revamped my girls’ school curriculum this semester.  I sincerely believe homeschooling Moms who don’t have a teaching degree have an advantage over those of us who do.  I think it’s harder to be flexible to the various out of the box methods homeschooling offers and not just transfer the typical classroom style to your home.  Learning does not have to be limited to being still and quiet behind a desk.  I know I can’t make it all lollipops and rainbows, but I do at least try to make learning fun and enjoyable.  Maybe by the time they’ve graduated, I’ll have figured out how to do it successfully.

It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord works.  I was thrown for a loop when our pastor resigned last month to return to the mission field.  My family loves him and his wife dearly, and selfishly did not want them to leave us.  Little did I know the Lord was preparing my own father to return to the pulpit after years of being in another form of ministry.  So after many years, I’m once again the Preacher’s kid.  That’s a totally appropriate title for a 33 year old Mommy, right?  I enjoy and appreciate it much more now than I did as a child. It’s just incredible how God works and answers prayer.

I’m going to be very honest: I’ve battled spiritually since this year began.  At times, literally feeling like I’m in a cloud of darkness.  I should have been better prepared, as I know full well when you obey the Lord, satan ain’t happy.  I knew without a doubt-for reasons beyond me-that I needed to share my story, my testimony.  It’s not like it’s anything ground-breaking, but the Lord made it clear it needed to be told.  Being out of my comfort zone is putting it mildly.  It’s one thing to share on a public blog for any random soul to read, it’s another to share with a group face to face.  I couldn’t think about either too hard, or I’d end up rocking in a corner mumbling to myself.  I don’t understand it, because I’m definitely not a speaker or a writer, and I don’t have anything spectacular to tell.  I think that’s what kept me from starting this blog two years ago.  What if no one reads it?  Oh well.  It’s not my job to worry about that, I just have to be obedient.  But it’s been rough spiritually and emotionally.  Do you ever feel like everything is just bad?  You don’t really even have a reason to be depressed, but you just can’t shake the feeling of misery?  And yes, I’m already on anxiety meds, but that doesn’t help spiritual issues.  If God is calling for you to change some things or take on a new adventure, be prepared for spiritual warfare.

Things change.  Time marches on.  My children are so eager for time to pass, wanting to be older and bigger.  My 8 year old can’t wait to be a teenager, my 5 year old still thinks she can catch up to big sister, and if you ask my 2 year old his age, he will excitedly tell you he’s 100.  Meanwhile, Mommy just wants to freeze time and halt the inevitable changes- including the forehead wrinkles that seem to be getting worse by the day.

I love how the book of Ecclesiastes describes the passing of time as seasons.  It comes and goes.  There is a time for everything.  I’m just thankful that despite the craziness and constant changes of our world, the Lord is changeless in His love for us.