So I realized I haven’t written a post in over a month.  I guess I’ve been too busy just being a regular Mommy.  At least that’s what my oldest daughter calls me.  When asked what she wanted to be when she grew up, she said, “Oh I don’t think I’ll have a job or anything, I think I’ll just be a regular ol’ Mommy like you.”  She has since made references to ‘regular Mommy’ many times, and every time I think I have a different reaction.  The first  almost had me in tears.  I took it as she didn’t see me as doing anything of importance, that I was just here at the house with them hanging out all day every day.  What kind of example was I setting if that’s what she thought?  I hammered out questions like this to my poor hubby later that evening, and I was informed I was over-thinking the whole matter.  Imagine that.

I struggle with my role/identity/purpose.  Is being ‘just a regular Mommy’ enough?  I will be the first to say I don’t take for granted the privilege I have to be able to stay home with my children, but it is far from a glamorous job.  It’s not like cleaning up bodily fluids at any given moment is the stuff of dreams.  Okay, let me be clear on something: this is not one of those ‘let me list all the things a stay at home Mom does and how much she should be paid’ posts.  While I appreciate the thought of those, every Mom- whether she’s married, single, working three jobs, staying home, whatever-if she is where the Lord wants her, she’s invaluable.

I recently had the privilege of sharing my testimony with a group of young girls.  One thing we discussed was how we may not do any great things in the world’s eyes, but if we’re in God’s will, whatever we do can be a great thing.  That exhausted Mommy who is up with her crying child for the umpteenth time?  She’s a hero to her little one.  That Mom who works 12 hour shifts only to come home to do laundry, feed her children and fall into bed?  She’s a hero.   Not only are we important to at least one someone, we are important to God.  I just want to grab young girls today, hug them tightly and assure them that their worth is not in their appearance, how many ‘likes’ their pictures get, what boy likes them, or how well they do in school.  They’re all daughters of the One True King, and He made them exactly how He wants them- to fulfill His will.

I realize the irony of being able to preach this to others yet struggling with identity myself.  Maybe it boils down to pride.  Thinking I’m ‘above’ cleaning up the bodily fluids and the not-so-glamorous life.  It’s selfish.  I cannot let my insecurities dictate my self-worth.  It’s amazing the perspective change that occurs when you look at scrubbing toilets as service to your family instead of yet another inconvenience.  Or rocking your crying toddler for the tenth time as precious moments that will fade all too soon, instead of an obstacle on your day’s to-do list.  Of course I don’t know any of this from personal experience- a friend told me.

It’s incredible the war satan wages on the Christian home.  If you’re not having to arm yourself daily, you need to check yourself.  Satan loves (LOVES!) to sneak in and whisper how much greener the grass is on the other side.  You’re not enough, you’re not doing anything important, you really don’t matter.  You’re ‘just a regular Mommy’.  Nothing special.  On the days when my two year old is getting into absolutely everything and throwing fit after fit when things don’t go his way; when I’m running on three hours of sleep; when my girls find it impossible to get along; when the house is a wreck and the laundry seems endless; when the library sends me notice that my book is 3 weeks overdue and I have no clue where the book is; when I seek solace in chocolate rather than the Lord; satan is there and ready for me to crack.  The Bible states clearly that God knew what all the days of my life would hold before I was even a thought here on earth.  He knew what I needed, what my gifts and talents would be, and what my family would need from me.  He created me for a purpose.

For now, that purpose is just being a regular ol’ Mommy.