A year.  It’s been almost a year to the day since my last blog post.  I knew it had been a while, but honestly I had no clue it had been THAT long.  Blogging has been something I’ve struggled with, because I am constantly second-guessing myself.  One idea after another will come, then I’ll talk myself out of posting because I am well aware there’s approximately half a million blogs out there that have already covered it and I’m not that special to think my voice is needed or wanted.  I recently had a sweet family member encourage me to give it a go once again, because yes, every voice is different.  Do I think I’m needed or wanted in the blogging world?  Absolutely not.  Writing is simply a creative outlet for me.  A true form of therapy. (and much cheaper!)  If I’m not typing, I’m writing it by hand in a journal.  Since I was eight years old, it’s been an outlet.  I’m not out to change the world.

So why am I sitting here at 1am in the glow of my laptop typing again?  Because this has been on my heart for months. Since March to be exact. I couldn’t quite put it into words until now, as Christmas is just three days away.  My precious Aunt has always said, “You never know what’s behind a smile.”  Such truth in that statement, because we only see what people want us to see.  In the South here, we’re almost trained from birth to greet each other with “Hey, how are you?” and automatically hear, “I’m fine, how are you?” in return.  Most of the time, neither party actually cares if the other is anything but fine.  No one is going to answer that with details of their mental health.   We smile, say we’re fine, and move on.

Very rarely is mental health not a taboo subject, especially in the realm of Christianity.  Why on earth Christians in general are more accepting of addictions than mental illness is beyond me.  Somehow you’re weak and just lack faith or a real relationship with the Lord if you’re depressed or anxious.  I’m speaking in general terms, of course.  I once had a lady tell me that when she tragically lost her child, some Christians rebuked her for seeking counseling and not just ‘trusting the Lord’.  And that’s why Christians get a bad rap.  Trusting the Lord in NO way, shape or form conflicts with seeking help in the form of a therapist.  Or medication.  Or whatever type of help the Lord has provided.

Whatever struggles that your friends and family are going through that they’ve told you about, multiply times ten.  At least.  Because odds are you don’t know even the half of it.  Think of the lives that could be saved if churches today provided support for those struggling with mental health issues.  If the environment was such that people were actually comfortable admitting those struggles.  Telling someone to “Let go and let God” as you pat them on the back and send them on their way is not the answer.

Everyone is different, but personally it makes it even harder on me to know I have to “put on” and suppress whatever is really going on in my life.  Most of 2016 was like that for me.  I could not let on to 99% of the people in my life just what all had been thrown my way.  As a homeschool Mom it made things more difficult, because I had to keep it together in front of my kids and have them actually learn things so Mommy wouldn’t be arrested for truancy.  I had to compartmentalize so I wouldn’t be a total wreck all day, every day.  Of course, I smiled and answered with the obligatory, “I’m fine” anytime I was asked.  But there’s that 1% who knew.  The 1% I could talk to without judgment or having to hear the typical “Christian clichés”.  To know the conversation never leaves the room.  For me, simply talking, (I didn’t care if it was just to a wall) was therapy for me.  The devil thrives on secrecy, and the more you carry something around all by yourself, the more he eats away at you.

Christmas is just three days away.  Yes, it is a beautiful time of year where we celebrate our Savior’s birth and social media is filled to the brim with happy families.  However, Christmas can also be one of the worst times of year for many- not because they don’t appreciate what Christ did-but because they may be grieving the loss of a loved one.  Or just feel alone.  Or aren’t financially able to give like they wanted.  It could be hundreds of different reasons.  More than likely, you’ll never know just how much they’re struggling.  Be the person that people can talk to without fear of judgment.  It’s rare in the Christian world.

Be the person who is encouraging to others.  Be the person who is not naïve enough to believe a smiling person equals a happy person.  Be the person who cares enough to know what’s behind the smile.

Be the person who makes this a better Christmas for someone.