Why do you do what you do?

I’ve been forced to evaluate some things recently, mostly asking the question ‘Why?’ when it comes to what is necessary and what the motivations are behind it.  I’m not trying to get super deep or philosophical, but sometimes it’s just necessary to take a step back and ask ourselves, ‘Why?’.

First of all, full disclosure: The title of this blog should now be “Mama is in Therapy” because yes, I bit the bullet and went marching back to the counselor. (Yay for humble pie!) This was after I made the exasperatingly stupid decision last year that I no longer needed the anxiety/depression meds and just quit. (PS: not a good idea, take my word for it)  Finally, after swallowing my pride and realizing for the umpteenth time in my life that counseling does NOT equal weakness, I went back in for therapy.  And (shocker!) that sweet, awesome Christian counselor informed me that I was in dire need of medication.  So take that, pride!

I’ve said this before and I’ll continue to say it a million times: Christians need to be more open to the issues of anxiety, depression, mental illnesses, etc.  NOT as a sign of lack of faith, not being ‘spiritual’ enough, or whatever other lame excuse I’ve heard through the years.  Yes, sometimes it is caused by our own sin and life choices- and we have to deal with the consequences.  But more often than not, I’ve witnessed it being a matter of either genetic predisposition or chemical imbalance.  Neither of which have anything to do with how much you read your Bible and pray.  I’ve personally heard good, godly people have no problem requesting prayer for their family member who has a drug/alcohol addiction, but then later literally whisper that ‘Sister So and So is on anti-depressants.’  Really?!  And that is why Christians don’t want to reach out.  And certainly why a non-Christian wouldn’t dare approach a Believer with such an issue.

We as Christians MUST be careful of our motivations.  We have the reputation of being ‘holier than thou’ as it is, and honestly some of it is justified.  I’ve seen through the years where great people have morphed into some kind of standard for Christianity.  You didn’t sign up for this ministry at church?  Oh, well then you’re not really where you need to be with the Lord.  Are you not out knocking on doors and handing out Gospel tracts?  Then shame on you.   Are you not bringing 5 people with you to church each week?  Well, why not?  And that is why churches split.  That is why people leave and turn away from Christianity.  It’s an impossible standard.  And we tend to completely forget that we must do what we are CALLED to do, and not simply jump on some kind of Spiritual bandwagon to make ourselves look and feel better.

Why are you doing what you’re doing?  Is it more of a ‘Look at me, look how Spiritual I am?’  Because if it is, I can 100% guarantee you the Lord will not bless it.  In fact, you will more than likely cause division than anything else.  The body of Christ needs to take a huge dose of humility and realize that just because not everyone is like you, does not make them less than.   We need to take a hard and very close look at our motivations.  Too many churches are feeding off an ‘us against them’ mentality.  The ‘Spiritual’ versus the ‘non-Spiritual’.  And that is the fastest route to people walking out the door and never returning.  Not just to that church, but to Christianity.  How many friends do you truly connect with?  How many people in your own circle/small group/church do you take the time and really talk to?  Ask the deep questions beyond the Southern ‘How are you doing?’ knowing the answer will be the standard, ‘Fine, and how are you?’  You never know what’s behind a smile.

Too many people sitting in the pew beside you are struggling.  Depression, anxiety, mental illness, drug/alcohol/pornography additions, abuse, you name it- I guarantee it’s in your church, no matter how big or small the congregation is.  Am I too busy signing up for the next big thing in the church to even look around and connect with who the Lord has already put in my path?

Few things hurt worse than to feel forgotten.  I get it, we are busy.  That’s one of the things I’m currently having to evaluate in my own life.  I am currently committed to something-at times multiple things-at every service at our church.  I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I’m saying I’m praying over my why and if I need to continue or let something go.  I have to remind myself I’m not special enough to be the only one for the job.  You never know who else may feel called by the Lord to be doing what you’ve been doing out of obligation.  Busyness does not equal godliness.   That bears repeating: busyness does NOT equal godliness.  Who is falling to the wayside due to our busyness?  Our spouses?  Children?  Friends?  Church members?  Few things hurt worse than to open your heart and make yourself vulnerable to a trusted friend, the friend promise to be there and walk with you through the fire, and it never happen.  And it’s because of busyness.  We are all too busy in our own lives and too often tending to our obligations- whether they be real or fall in the category of  ‘This is what the Spiritual crowd is doing so I need to do it too”- to even invest in what is truly important.  Am I too busy trying to look good in the church that my own family is suffering?  Will my children see me as someone who was more interested in doing, doing, doing at the church when they really just need me to be Mom in this season of life?  What is my why?

My encouragement is to pay more attention.  Not only to our own motivations for things, but to others.  Whether it be your own family, the little lady who always sits in the pew behind you, or the cashier at the grocery store.  Spoiler alert: everyone has issues.  Not the same, (thank goodness!)  but we are ALL struggling in some way.  Some more than others.  Yes, I deal with severe depression, social anxiety, and panic attacks.  (Thank you Lord for medicine!) And yes, it’s a struggle to get through the day at times.  But I am also very aware that I’m most likely on the mild end of struggling compared to what some right there in our own churches and communities are going through.  Evaluate your motivations for why you’re doing what you’re doing.  Is it to fill a void in your life, make yourself feel better or more Spiritual, meet the approval of others, or just look good?  If so, make the necessary changes.  You never know how the Lord will bless you and others for it.

What is your why?